It’s funny how memory works. In the moment, it feels like you will never forget how you felt at a certain point, yet through the separation of years, the memory loses its feeling. It’s no longer an emotion, but only an image.
In a few hours, it will be my 20th birthday, and right now I feel anxious and nervous for what the next decade will bring to me, but what will I remember 10 years from now about turning 20?
I asked my mom what she did on her 20th birthday, and she doesn’t remember and that makes me sad. Right now as a 19 year old, entering my twenties is terrifying, and exciting at the same time, because there are so many milestones that will occur between 20-29. For this whole week, it has been nearly impossible for me to be focused, and I’ve constantly been thinking about my future.
So what will I remember about turning twenty? Maybe that the day before I got my hair done, went to a few meetings, talked to my brother and parents, saw my friend row crew, cleaned my room, and then studied for my logic midterm. Or will I just remember a split second memory?
Or maybe I won’t remember anything at all.
i’ve never been more bored in my life. I am on spring break for two weeks, with only a car sometimes, and hardly any of my friends are home. I sing to myself and don’t have conversations with people throughout the day. Facebook and Instagram make my boredom more painful when I see all my friends in tropical places. I put lipstick on and dance around my house. I’ve gained weight since I’ve been home because there are too many girl scout cookies, and I eat all of them, and I read and watch every television show. My only job is to do the dishes and put away the laundry, it used to take me a half hour, but I can’t push myself to put all the clothes away, I need to take breaks from my boredom by complaining about being bored. How am I going to get through another week of this?